New iPhone Case Has Built-In Pepper Spray

If you’ve got an iPhone, then chances are you also have an iPhone case protecting your beloved gadget. You’ve got to, really, given how much those things cost and how delicate they are. But while that case is protecting your phone, who or what is protecting you? After all, you are also delicate and expensive [...]

Man Takes Pants Off To Cross River, Gets Testicles Eaten Off By Crocadile

Last month in Zimbabwe, a 70-year-old man tried to cross a swollen river so he could sell a box of tomatoes on the other side. Unfortunately, when he finally made it to the other side, he no longer had his tomatoes. Or his testicles. The guy’s name is Jonah Maturure. The pensioner and father of [...]

California Man Arrested For Cooking, Eating Kitty Cats

Remember how Bob Barker used to end The Price Is Rightwith the line, “Help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered”? Well, there’s a guy in Oilsdale, California who got the first part right, but apparently misheard the second part. He is helping to control the cat population in his neighborhood, but [...]

Female Judge Caught Naked In Back Of Car With Female Lawyer

An attractive and very married female judge found naked in the back of a parked car with a female public defender? Sounds like a latenight softcore Cinemax parody of Law & Order, doesn’t it? Of course, this isn’t cable porn make-believe. It really happened—at least if you believe the officer who reported the incident. Some, [...]

‘Nomophobia’—Fear Of Being Without Cell Phone—On The Rise

There’s this new affliction out there in the world called “nomophobia.” Maybe you have it. The named is derived from the phrase “no-mobile-phobia” and, obviously, it is what people are starting to call the fear of being without one’s mobile phone. It sounds pretty stupid, I know, but this is actually turning into a real [...]

Naked Crackhead Goes On Shoplifting Spree At Walmart

If you’re a crackhead and you suddenly get the urge to take off all your clothes and go get yourself some Cheetos and a new pair of socks, there’s really only one option: Walmart! Recently in Exton, Pennsylvania, a 32-year-old man drove his car to Walmart, got out, stripped off all his clothes, went into [...]

Latest Weird Trend In Tokyo: Rabbit Cafes

Tokyo is a cutting edge place, always at the forefront of new trends. So what’s the latest such trend to take the Japanese metropolis by storm? Rabbit Cafes. No, these are not cafes where people go to eat rabbits. That, as weird as it may be, would make more sense. Instead, these are cafes where [...]

Man Bitten On Testicle By Venomous Snake, Friend Refuses To Suck Poison Out

If your buddy bursts into your bedroom at four in the morning with his pants around his ankles, begging you to suck on his testicle, what would you do? Oh wait, I forgot the most important part of this hypothetical: your buddy’s testicle was just bitten by a venomous snake in the Australian outback. That’s [...]

Naked Cowgirl Leads Cops On Low-Speed Car Chase

I’ll just skip right ahead to what everyone is wondering: if she was nude, how do you know she’s a cowgirl? The answer: the only thing she was wearing were cowboy boots. Only in Texas, right? Okay, now back to the beginning. This past Sunday around 3AM, a resident of the Lakes subdivision in Corpus [...]

Pervert TSA Agents Make MILF Go Through Body Scanner Three Times

You know how they introduced those full body x-ray scanners at airport security—the ones that pretty much show what you look like naked? Well, you’re not going to believe this, but some pervy TSA agents are actually using these naked lady machines inappropriately. Who could have seen that coming? (Put your hands down, libertarians.) The [...]

Cops Arrest Couple For Being Too On Kinky Valentine's Day

If you get off on doing kinky sex stuff with your partner, that’s cool. You just have to be careful where you do that stuff and who sees you. Yesterday in Portland, Oregon, one kinky couple was arrested after their kinky Valentine’s Day hijinks alarmed the public and puts the cops on high alert. Nikolas [...]

New iPhone App (Supposedly) Controls Your Dreams

Dreaming can be a mixed bag. Sometimes dreams are terrifying—like when you show up to your first day of school without any pants, or you find yourself in one of those Saw movies. But other times dreams are amazing—like when you’re wildly successful at whatever it is you do, or you get to have sex [...]

Police Keeps Arresting White Guy For Taking Walk With Black Granddaughter

So apparently some cops in Texas didn’t get the memo about the whole “racial tolerance and integration” thing that’s happened over the last 40 years. Because they keep trying to arrest this white dude for taking his black granddaughter to the park. Seriously. Scott Henderson, a middle aged white guy from Austin, Texas, spends a [...]

Teen Stabs Grandma 100 Times, Shoots Her In Head With Crossbow

On Tuesday, 19-year-old Florida resident Jasper Aristotle Smiddie went to his father and confessed that he “did something stupid.” That “something stupid” was stabbing his grandmother 100 times, hitting her in the face with a wrench, and shooting her in the head with a crossbow. (Usually, when I say I “did something stupid,” I mean [...]

Man Selling Collection Of Rare Booze For $8 Million

The world’s greatest collector of rare liquor has announced that he’s putting it all up for sale. So if you’ve got an extra eight million bucks lying around (that’s right, $8,000,000) and you enjoy looking at dusty bottle of booze, you might consider giving the guy a call. Act fast, though, because I’m pretty sure [...]