Crazy Woman Strips Naked, Climbs Inside Gutted Dead Horse

You know that old jokes about how, when horses die, it’s off to the glue factory? I always thought they were kind of tasteless. But after you read this story, making glue out of dead horses is going to seem downright respectful and dignified. It seems that, recently, a 21-year-old Oregon woman stripped down to [...]

Man Arrested For Screwing Donkey Claims It Was Actually Shapeshifting Prostitute

Million dollar question: what do you do if the cops catch you having sex with a donkey? On Sunday, a 28-year-old Zimbabwe man named Sunday Moyo was arrested for just that. But there’s a perfectly good explanation for this. You see, Moyo was at a nightclub where he met a prostitute who agreed to do [...]

New iPhone App Lets You Know If Playboy Playmate Finds You Attractive

Don’t you love it when hot Playboy models tell you you’re ugly? No? Is that just me? Oh, okay. Then don’t buy the new “The Rating Game” app for you iPhone. Because that’s pretty much what it does. Here’s how it works: You snap a picture of yourself with your iPhone camera and upload it. [...]

Smart Thinking: Man Calls Cops On Mistress When Girlfriend Comes Home Early

Okay, let’s take a quiz. You’re about to cheat on your longtime girlfriend in the home that the two of you share with some random DTF chick you met on Craigslist. All of a sudden, just about the time you’re expecting the Craigslist pro bono hooker to arrive, your girlfriend comes home early. Do you: [...]

Good News If You're Not A Migrant Farm Worker: Scientists Close To Developing Strawberry-Picking Robot

Finally, after years and years of research, scientists are close to finding a technological solution to one of the greatest human problems of our time: picking strawberries. The problem with building strawberry-picking robots has always been that robots can’t do what every man, woman, child, animal, and insect on earth can—namely, they can’t tell if [...]

Man Tries To Set Taco Bell Ablaze Because His XXL Chalupa Isn't XXL Enough

A rule of thumb for all Taco Bell managers: if people are crazy enough to buy food from your establishment, they might be crazy enough to burn your establishment to the ground if you cross them. On Sunday, a Georgia man was arrested after he attempted to throw a molotov cocktail through the drive-through window [...]

EMT Molests Women In Back Of Ambulance, Kicked Out Of Health Profession...For One Year

Any dude who sexually harasses, assaults, or molests any other man, woman, or child is a scumbag. But a dude who uses his position as an emergency medical technician to molest women as they lie sick or injured in the back of his ambulance? Wow. That’s a scumbag squared and multiplied by ten. (If you’re [...]

Lindsay Lohan, Desperate For Cash, To Go Full-Frontal In Playboy

Yesterday, we all heard the news that Lindsay Lohan had reached a deal with Playboy to pose nude in an upcoming issue of the famous men’s magazine…for one million dollars! Apparently, old Hef and the good folks who run Playboy are unaware that Lindsay has been showing her various lady parts to paparazzi for years, [...]

Women Also Suffer From Premature Orgasms

If you thought only men had problems making sex last longer than 5 minutes, think again. A new study out of Portugal reveals that premature climax is a problem for the ladies, too. So, there. According to the research, about 40% of women reported that they occasionally reach climax earlier than intended during intercourse. About [...]

A Woman's Walk Reveals Her Sexual History

Researchers in Belgium have made a fascinating discovery: you can tell what kind of orgasms a woman has just by observing the way she walks. No, this isn’t some corny movie gag in which a gal walks funny after a night of exceptionally vigorous sexual activity. This is for real. What the research shows is [...]

Overuse Of Internet Erotica Causes Erectile Dysfunction

New research shows that your use of internet porn may have seriously negative effects on your ability to get it on with a real person. Sorry to bum you out. Apparently, in recent years there has been a surge in the number of young men in their 20s and 30s suffering from erectile dysfunction (ED) [...]

Body Scanner Can Tell You Exactly Which Pair Of Jeans Will Make Your Butt Look Good

If you’re a guy, shopping for jeans is easy. You walk into the store, find the color and size you want, pay, and walk out. However, if you’re a woman, shopping for jeans is about the third most difficult and complicated thing you will ever do (right after childbirth and doing your taxes). Thankfully, finding [...]

TSA Agent Leaves Sexy Note In Woman's Luggage

In case you were wondering: yes, those TSA agents to whom you hand your luggage at the airport do go through your personal belongings…and judge you. Just ask Jill Filipovic. Over the weekend she caught a flight from Newark to Dublin, Ireland. On monday, she opened her suitcase to unpack and found a note scribbled [...]

Excessive Internet P0rn Use Causes 'Sexual Anorexia'

You’re not going to believe this. Are you ready? A new study out of Italy suggests that regular, long-term consumption of internet porn significantly reduces the libido of men in their early- to mid-twenties. Researchers are calling the resulting condition “sexual anorexia.” No, this study was not conducted by a bunch of Italian mom’s trying [...]

Man Jailed After Trying To Turn His Poop Into Gold

If you were thinking about trying to make a quick buck by turning your feces into gold: don’t do it. You could burn your house down and/or wind up in prison. At least, that’s what happened to a Northern Ireland man who tried his hand at alchemy back in July. Last week, 30-year-old Paul Moran [...]