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5 Celebrities That Flunked Out Of Their Early Childhood Education

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November 26th, 2011

It's becoming less and less of a secret that college isn't absolutely imperative to leading a successful life. Especially now that college costs more to attend than your job will pay you in an entire year of employment, the DIY path to success is on the rise. Plenty of celebrities figured this out way before the rest of us -- that's why they're celebrities today!

Here are five famous individuals who flunked out of early childhood education and went on to rub it in the face of every stupid old lady who gets irate when you tell her you didn't finish school.

 

Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Dropout

Bet you weren't expecting that. Paris Hilton is famous because of her father's renowned hotel chain, her sex tape, and little more. Hilton dropped out of multiple schools before quitting entirely and opting to visit jail instead of continuing her education at all. While her show with Nicole Ritchie was actually pretty funny and her reality television bit "My New BFF" had some entertaining moments, Hilton is known for nothing more than being a cretinous ho. She doesn't even count as a real human being, which means we still have five more celebrities to go.

 

Juliette Lewis

Juliette Lewis Dropout

Beautiful actress and mediocre singer Juliette Lewis dropped out of her high school when she was just 14, noting that early childhood education was better for her because having one long class (instead of seven separate periods) was much less disruptive to her concentration. Lewis emancipated herself and quit school, becoming a wildly successful actress instead. This is not recommended for the average teenager who hates her history teacher because she got a 65 on the last test. Unless you're ridiculously badass, good-looking, and hungry for fame, don't try this at home.

 

Britney Spears

Britney Spears Dropout

It's not even what you think. Britney's career actually began at her school, namely, the place of her childhood education -- kindergarten. At the age of five, Spears took the stage to dance. She went on to attend the Professional Performing Arts School in New York while serving as an understudy for a character on an off-Broadway show called Ruthless. Her role on the Mickey Mouse club shows her in all of her innocence, but it was unfortunately cancelled. Consequently, she moved back home to Louisiana but continued to attend school. It wasn't until she was stuck there, bored, that she decided to drop out of school.

 

Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell Dropout

Simon Cowell's story is neither hopeful nor inspiring. He got into show business because his daddy was an EMI executive and got Cowell a job in the mail room. His early childhood education was not a priority, and discipline apparently wasn't a big deal either. His placement in the EMI mailroom only came after Cowell decided to drop out of school but couldn't keep any of his menial jobs due to his bratty attitude. That bratty attitude is what makes him so famous today, but it just makes you wonder how many more smarter, wittier people out there who aren't famous simply because daddy was a nobody.

 

Avril Lavigne

Avril Lagivne Dropout

Fake punk rocker Avril Lavigne dropped out of early childhood education when she signed a recording contract at age 16. Lavigne has no shame about this decision (as she shouldn't), and proudly admitted to dropping out on the Barbara Walters show. When Walters suggested that she was still able to go back, Lavigne muttered an awkward "um, yeah no that's okay." She does, however, have her GED. As a filthy rich musician with millions of record sales, a education that teaches a stiff mathematics curriculum and lies about history doesn't seem very useful anymore.

 

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