The $12,000 Bulletproof Polo: For When Everybody’s Trying To Kill You
For years, anyone wanting to survive assassination attempts had to either hide behind bulletproof glass or wear bulky, hot, and altogether unsightly bulletproof vests. It was all just so undignified.
Fortunately, those days are over. Whether you’re a Latin American dictator, a Russian oil tycoon, a Middle Eastern prince, or just a crazy washed-up old movie star who can’t tell the difference between cinema and reality, this polo by Miguel Caballero.
It’s from the Colombian designer’s exclusive “Gold Label” line and is made from a proprietary lightweight antiballistic fabric. Though it only comes in four colors—black, blue, red, and white—you do get to choose from three levels of protection.
Level IIA is capable of stopping shots from a 9mm Smith & Weston, so it’s perfect if you think you’re just in danger of being gunned down by a jilted lover or something. Level II, on the other hand, can stop anything up to a 38 Super or a mini Uzi submachine gun, so it’s for people with more serious security concerns. Lastly, there is level IIIA, which can stop a 44 Magnum and is also stab-proof—a real nice touch.
Personally, if it ever was the case that I thought somebody might be shooting me, I wouldn’t settle for anything less than the level IIIA. But hey, that’s just me. Regardless of which level of protection is right for you, each is certified by the U.S. Department of Justice and features soft microfiber on the inside, 100% cotton on the outside.
So who is known to wear these protective polos? How about guys like Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, King Abdullah of Jordan, and everyone’s favorite action-star-turned reality TV cop, Steven Segal.
If polo’s aren’t your style, though, Caballero offers other bulletproof garments as well. Maybe a sharp-looking motorcycle jacket or a bulletproof tuxedo shirt are more your style?