Why Men Cheat
The question “Why men cheat?” is probably older than the question “What is the purpose of life?” Sadly ladies the answer is…drum roll please… THEY JUST DO!
Those of us who are aware that we have been cheated on have gone through every scenario trying to figure why it happened. Sometimes it’s just obvious you were dealing with a guy who could care less, and who is going to be with other women no matter what. Other times we resort to blaming ourselves. We start to think that maybe we gained some weight, or maybe we aren’t putting it down in the bedroom the way we used to.
Reality Check…
It has nothing to do with how his current woman is acting at home. His woman could have given him the best sexual experience he ever had, but a man will still wonder if he can find better. In fact some men don’t even care if the sex they find outside of their relationship is better the main draw is that it’s new. The bottom line is men like attention. They are taught from a very young age that a big part of what makes them manly is their ability to attract and conquer as many women as possible.
As they get older and gain a healthy confidence in their abilities to get with women they enter a phase where they start to slow down. In this phase a man will start to prioritize and realize that sex is not everything and he may find a girlfriend. While he is with his girlfriend he will put in some effort to do nothing more than to fantasize about other women. Unfortunately, men get to a point where they start to weigh the comfort they have in their relationships against the “freedom” they felt when they were playing the field. The new woman, even if she pales in comparison to you will better at the moment because it’s new attention, a new experience, and sadly new sexual territory aka “pussy”.
Where we get caught in a box is that we give so much attention to when a man decides to have sex with someone else. When we do that we leave the door open for our men to do everything else. We tend to forget that infidelity has just as many levels as love. Women love with their hearts first and their minds second. While on the other hand, men love with their minds first, and unfortunately they have two heads. Because women are aware of this they think that a man will rarely ever step out of his relationship because his heart wants someone or something else. Though it may be more common for a man to cheat physically we forget about the emotional side.
Physical cheating is pretty black and white. When he kisses, fondles, and has sex with someone else you’ve been physically cheated on. Emotional cheating however is very grey. When love is a part of your relationship this grey area is very dangerous because on the rare occasion that a man lets you in he is forming an attachment. When a man is emotionally cheating on you, he is:
- Having conversations with this other woman that he is no longer having with you because all of a sudden you don’t understand him anymore.
- Flirting to the point where it surpasses harmless compliments.
- Defending his “friendship” with another girl. He insists “It’s not like that”
- Spending time doing innocent activities with his “friend”
Though emotional and physical cheating have their blatant differences the one thing they have in common is the newness the man receives when he’s getting attention from someone else. This other girl is new sex, a new ear to listen, a new mind to understand. The silver lining so to speak is that most men either realize that they are not willing to stay in the relationship they have and move on. Others decide they enjoyed tasting a new flavor but their favorite brand is at home. It’s up to the woman at this point to decide if she will deal with it.
By Simone Waugh
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