Guy Nearly Puts Wife's Eye Out With a Cheez-Its
This is the kind of viral marketing Kellogs could only have dreamed of. A domestic dispute in Palm Bay, Fla turned violent when Andy Gatz found out his wife had attended an Earth Day concert—amongst other things, Gatz apparently hates Planet Earth—so macho-Andy decided to teach his old lady a lesson. With cheese!
Gatz was already under a court-ordered injunction to stay away from his wife, but her support for the environment was just too much for him to handle and he went at her with a vicious barrage of Cheeze-It crackers. One of the pointed crackers wound up becoming lodged in the victim's eye causing injuries.
Gatz defended himself by claiming he threw only a single cracker at his wife and the shot was simply bad luck; as if it wasn't obvious this cracker ninja wields Cheeze-its like throwing stars. Nice try Gatz, the police didn't buy it and this jerk is now in jail.