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Guy Nearly Puts Wife's Eye Out With a Cheez-Its

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April 20th, 2012

This is the kind of viral marketing Kellogs could only have dreamed of.  A domestic dispute in Palm Bay, Fla turned violent when Andy Gatz found out his wife had attended an Earth Day concert—amongst other things, Gatz apparently hates Planet Earth—so macho-Andy decided to teach his old lady a lesson.  With cheese!

Gatz was already under a court-ordered injunction to stay away from his wife, but her support for the environment was just too much for him to handle and he went at her with a vicious barrage of Cheeze-It crackers.  One of the pointed crackers wound up becoming lodged in the victim's eye causing injuries.

Gatz defended himself by claiming he threw only a single cracker at his wife and the shot was simply bad luck;  as if it wasn't obvious this cracker ninja wields Cheeze-its like throwing stars.  Nice try Gatz, the police didn't buy it and this jerk is now in jail.



I am a writer, designer, entertainment journalist whose work has appeared on, CraveOnline, BuddyTV, and numerous other outlets. I am currently Editor at, and getting my geek-fix on Social Media news right here at
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