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Man Bitten On Testicle By Venomous Snake, Friend Refuses To Suck Poison Out

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February 16th, 2012

Take it easy on this guy, ladies, because a snake just big his nad.

If your buddy bursts into your bedroom at four in the morning with his pants around his ankles, begging you to suck on his testicle, what would you do?

Oh wait, I forgot the most important part of this hypothetical: your buddy’s testicle was just bitten by a venomous snake in the Australian outback. That’s why he wasn’t you to put his ball(s) in your mouth.

So, now...what would you do?

If you answered “politely decline, but offer to drive the guy to the nearest hospital,” you wouldn’t be alone. That’s what a Scottish dude named Roddy Andrews recently said to his buddy, 29-year-old Jackson Scott.

Scott and Andrews, best friends from Glasgow, are spending the year living and working on a farm in the Australian outback. As Scott explained recently to UK newspaper The Sun:

“I went into the garden at four in the morning after a night in the pub to save flushing the toilet because water is precious in the outback.

“Just as I finished and was about to tuck everything safely away, it bit me. I had my pants around my knees when I hobbled into Roddy's bedroom. My heart was racing and I was hallucinating.”

Scott says he asked Andrews to suck out the venom, but he declined. Instead, he put his buddy in the car and drove him 40 minutes to the nearest hospital. There, a very professional and courteous staff attended to Scott’s wounds—they probably see that sort of thing a lot in the outback.

Incidentally, both Scott and Andrews ought to be glad the latter refused to suck the formers ball(s). I looked it up, and despite the popular notion, you’re never supposed to suck the venom out of a snakebite.

The more you know...

[via Daily Telegraph]

I am a freelance writer specializing in sports, humor, politics, technology, and, from time to time, pop culture. Also, Esteban is not my real name, but I wish was.
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