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Mom’s Drinking Buddy: Her 11-Year-Old Son

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February 6th, 2012

Note: this is not the actual kid. But this is what it would look like.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one. A drunk mom and her drunk 11-year-old son walk into a bar...

No, this is not a joke. This really happened. Only it wasn’t actually a bar; it was a take-out pizza joint. The mom and her 11-year-old son really were plastered, though.

The sad story played out in the city of Hull in northern England in May of 2011. Witnesses at the pizza place reported that an extremely intoxicated mother (who cannot be named, because it would also identify her son) and her equally intoxicated son got into an argument while ordering food. It seems that the son was hogging all the booze—a green-colored liquid in a clear bottle—and mom didn’t like it.

One of the witnesses, a woman named Rachel Bibby, recently took the stands to tell the court (yeah, obviously this ended up in court) what happened.

She explained that, after they left the pizza shop, the mom went into a convenience store and came out with a can a beer.

Then, cccording to Bibby, “She then went straight up to her son and asked him if he would swap the bottle for the can. She took the bottle off the lad, opened the can of lager and gave it to her son. 'He had a mouthful, decided he didn't want it and began to shake the liquid in his mum's face. She shouted at him, grabbed him by the shoulder and poured the remaining lager over his head.”

At that point, Bibby decided she should probably report the woman to the police. But as she was explaining the situation on the phone, the drunk caught her staring and shouted, “we always get drunk together and he always acts like this.”

After police found mom and her son, they gave mom a ride to the slammer and took junior to the hospital. There they measured the kid’s blood alcohol level at twice the legal limit for driving...if, that is, he was legal to drive. Which he was not.

So screw the whole “mother of the year” business. This woman goes straight to the bad mother hall of fame.

[via Daily Mail]

I am a freelance writer specializing in sports, humor, politics, technology, and, from time to time, pop culture. Also, Esteban is not my real name, but I wish was.
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