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British Scienctists Declare Girl With the Most Beautiful Face - We Declare: PALTROW CLONE!

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April 24th, 2012

Beauty is no longer in the eye of the beholder, it is now in the ruler of the scientist.  Florence Colgate, the winner of Britain's Lorraine Cosmetics model search, has mathematically perfect looks.  All of this according to the Daily Mail who, not surprisingly, failed to quote a single scientist in making the claim that Florence has perfect facial symmetry, just one look should explain why;  she's clearly a Gwyneth Paltrow clone and no scientist would dare to admit to breaking the ban on human cloning!

Why are the British so obsessed with Paltrow, anyways?  Chris Martin of Coldplay has already stolen her away from us.  Now this?  All sounds crazy you say?  Look closely at this girl's lips, you can clearly see the indent left from the feeding tube they used during her accelerated growth stage.  Give her a few months and she'll be guest starring on Glee and starting an annoying blog.

Sorry Britain, we all know Amy Winehouse is as close as you'll get to the world's most beautiful girl.  Keep your hands off our DNA!


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