Introducing The Penis Snake
Because we men could always use another reason to feel inferior, here's a snake that looks like a gigantic dick. While it may be true, in some purely self assuring way, that it isn't the size of your snake, but how you use it, this proud member of the reptile family is sure he has no idea what you're talking about there.
The 'Penis Snake' was just recently discovered in Brazil and is a strange dude indeed. Turns out he has no lungs. Scientists believe he absorbs oxygen through his skin. So, then, smart guys, how does he breathe when he's ... oh never mind.
If you don't want to feel completely inferior, don't show this snake to your female better half.