Iowa’s Most Wanted: Guy Who Stole $250 “Mega Masturbator” Sex Toy
Behold the Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly Mega Masturbator
Today, Iowa City police have stepped up their efforts to catch the city’s most wanted thief—i.e., the guy who stole a $250 sex toy from one of the local “adult boutiques”—by releasing a surveillance photo of the crime.
On January 12, a man wearing a ski mask walked into the Romantix Pleasure Palace at 3AM, picked up a large box containing a Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly Mega Masturbator, flashed a large hunting knife to the store clerk, and walked out.
Police have been working on the case ever since but haven’t come up with any leads. Now they’re turning to the press in hopes that someone might somehow recognize this guy.
So I guess if you live in Iowa City and you know a white male, approximately 5'8" - 5'10", 165 lbs., who owns a blue denim coat and has been spending an inordinate amount of time in his bedroom for the last month, you might want to give the police department a ring.
In case your wondering, Pipedream Extreme, the maker of the Fuck Me Silly Mega Masturbator, claims that their product is “the most realistic piece of ass you ever fucked...Slap that big round ass and listen to the whack...it sounds and feels just like a real ass!”
So there you go, $250 for a fake silicone butt.
Whatever floats your boat...
[via Smoking Gun]
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